Sunday, 29 August 2004
ROMANSA NI MAGNO RUBIO
"Ganyan ba talaga ka-sexual ang mga Pilipino?" whispered by bitterpaulie while watching Rubio.
As i explained, "Ganyan talaga ang mga pinoy. Sexually repressed kasi. Mage-gets mo na din kung bakit mahilg sumitsit ang mga construction worker sa kahit sinong naka-palda"
Taboo pinoy words and phrases like titi mong panot, kantot ng kantot, pipino mong malambot, "gagu! sing haba naman ng bulbol mo ang titi mo", " alam mo na paglalaki ka... kelangan kasi pumasok ng iba't ibang kweba" was the reason why Paulie interrogated me as if i was a the master craftsman of every Filipino mind. Well, try growing up with boys and you'll hear from them.Those words worked wonders for mood setting of TP's Romansa ni Magno Rubio.
Magno Rubio. Filipino boy. Ilong na sarat. Sing-itim ng bao. He's Magno Rubio. He's like a typical construction worker you wouldn't dare to have eye contact with lest you get a promiscious grin sabay "Hi miss..." But he's not a construction worker, he's an OFW working as a farmer set in the American fifties. He's the ugliest and the most illiterate among the 4 other manongs in the story. What sets him apart from them? He's in love.
Now here comes the problem, this romansa of Magno Rubio is the main subject of ridicule from his peers since he met his Clarabelle through a penpal section of a magazine. Magno Rubio wants her--- he wants her height of 6 feet, her weight of 195 lbs, her creamy white skin, her blonde hair. He has conditioned himself to fall in love with someone he hasn't even seen and he succeeded. He pays his pals to write him love letters. He works extra hard to send her money for some of her seemingly fabricated needs. He sings, dances, dreams only to end up fooled by the girl on their supposed wedding day.
Actors were superb. I cried at Magno Rubio's most ridiculed scene. I just knew that it was pure pain from someone who just wanted to express love in the most illiterate way only to be laughed at. He was in love and no amount of stench and grease can erase that. Some of the actors convinced me enough to hate them for doing that for our boy Magno. I also realized that the play is an allegory to every pinoy's romance to the land of milk and honey---America. We are all a bunch of Magno Rubios hoping to feel like, be like and live like an American. That's why we end up ridiculing ourselves for this so called romansa. Well, let's not dig into serious stuff.
Nothing beats watching a play. Everything living and non-living on stage is beautiful. Every nook and cranny is pure passion. Oh God! I miss the stage. When can I be really beautiful again?
********* Watch out for PETA's newest production this September. ASL... Please written by Liza Magtoto and directed by Phil Noble. 2 of my PETA batch mates will act--- Kitchie Pagaspas and Miles Pardalis.
Wednesday, 25 August 2004
THINGS I BOUGHT TODAY AND HOW I CAME UPON BUYING THEM
My original intention is to buy a ballpen. Things just got out of hand.
PLATITO-LIKE EARRINGS - There's this some sort of tiangge inside Sm north that sells handcrafted earrings. Most of the designs are roses and flower inspired. I was almost lured into buying this cutey butterfly earrings since butterflies are my current fancy. I am no Mariah Carey fan but i just related it to my dad's story about how a butterfly can grant and ungrant wishes. My dad says they carry your wish to God. Our insipid neighbor, who yearns to have a child, cut off a part of our tree that homes yellow butterflies without our consent. That was about 6 years ago. The neighbor found out she was barren. Anyway, i didn't buy the butterfly earrings. I bought the one that looked like a plato with the sun served on it. I just missed the beach.
VERONIKA DECIDES TO DIE - This is all because of Cha (lover of my friend Zara). She unconsciously prodded me into buying this book. It's by Paulo Coelho. Deciding to die doesn't sound morbid as it seems. Catchy title but the K of Veronika sounds like the Soviet Union to me. I have this habit with newly bought books. I leaf through the pages like in cards--- balasa and smell them. It excites me.
LEAF STORM AND OTHER STORIES by G.G. Marquez - Two books in a row. I just can't help it. It's the last copy. Some of the people in national bookstore thought that i was going to shoplift it since i was busy deciding wether or not to buy the coelho book or the garcia marquez. Yang mga punyetang guwardya na yan. I caught 2 guards staring at me from some hidden nook and ready to smite as if waiting for me to commit a crime. Hala! Akala nila poor ako. I bought both of them. Leche sila. Bumili naman ako ng ballpen nila.
NIVEA creme - Ramesh once told me that we should never let go of our selves. Kaya dapat maglagay ng moisturizer. Haha! i used to swab the clean and clear moisturizer but it made me feel like soup. Kulang na lang gatas at elbow macaroni, sopas na. Clean and clear was ok, but nivea made me feel beautiful. i discovered it at kitchie's house after removing heavy make-up. It made my cheeks plump and cute.
JOHNSON'S BABY MILK LOTION - I just like the word milk. i don't really drink milk so i think it will pass up for all my lost calcium. I wish this lotion would also have benefits like the ones for osteoporosis. It reminds me of Elizabeth Taylor and how she would bathe in milk Don't take this seriously.
I also bought a pink plastic loofah with a built in pig figure that looks like Super Boink. Did you know that a pigs' orgasm can last up to 30 minutes?
Lucky lucky pigs.
Sunday, 22 August 2004
MY SHOWBIZ STINTS
Today, I slept from 7am to 6pm non-stop. I just came from a taping in Cavite for new horror flick in GMA 7. Me and the director had this "artistic affair" a few months back and he decided to continue that by putting putik and dugo all over me.
The wardrobe called me up and asked for my vitals stats for the nurse's costume. The coordinator texted me that i would be splashed by putik-putik and dugo-dugo. Now, why putik and dugo? It's a horror flick. I know, but why putik and dugo? and a nurse's costume? I mean, what was my role? Come taping day, my showbizzy friend told me that my role was stabbed to death by a lover. Wow, crime of passion. No, honey, dedz ka na dito. Ok I was a dead nurse.I was a multo. Funny, I remember a running joke on people who wanted to be seen on TV.
Man: Hija, pwede ka nang pang-Regal!
Girl: Talaga?
Man: Regal Shocker!
If you're a person who really values time, tapings are not exactly the best raket to get into. Our call time was at 4:30 am and I got on my costume at 12:00 am the following day. I had to wait forever and half-finish a book for my turn of the camera. It was that worse. The acting part was breezy since that was the whole point of me being there, but crying atop a tree with blood all over at 4:00 am proved to be the real meat of the deal. The artificial blood was all over my legs you might even wonder if i was really stabbed to death or gang-raped or had a bloody miscarriage. After my turn, you could guess that all of the above happened to me.
I'm not a newbie in this kind of rakets. I've had a few short stints in soaps. They were ok but forgettable since I haven't really saw myself acting on TV.
1. KA-KOSA/IN-MATE -- I was a mabait ka-kosa of Snooky Serna in her soap in GMA. This was the time when Snooky's role was put in jail. It was set in prison and the art dept had the national mental hospital moonlight as a women's correctional. It was fun. Snooky and i were textmates for a while. Albert Martinez in jeans and white shirt was a greek god.
2. NURSE - my friend marnie and I were mean nurses here. We were spreading rumors about Angelu de leon's character and were out to get Ian Veneracion.
I had a snappy stint as one of Karel's ka-barkada. It was pro-bono and spur of the moment. A friend just tugged me while I was on my work station so that Karel can look like she has "normal friends" as she hung out. Karel didn't look normal to me. She was extremely cute. At least, she's not as irritating as that girl Heart.
Thursday, 19 August 2004
I miss the MRT at 8am. No more lustful rides for me for the moment. I wake up at 9am to head to NBN. It's for the Olympics. My boss actually shelved dollars for the friggin Games. And i am there to make sure his money would get back to him.
I watch the Olympics everyday and i noticed that swimmers are really beautiful people. They are sexy and graceful. I think they must be the ones who should really strut their bathing suits in Boracay. I mean, look at those arms and the legs. Such muscle. Such veins. I marvel at them. I wish i could swim as if the water and i are long lost lovers. Anyway, never really had a long lost lover.
I once declared to myself that if ever i get pregnant, i will go to Ilocos Norte. I would want my child to learn how to swim. Not just learn, but be really good in that. I have this feeling that i will someday drown. I just don't like catching breaths. I'd rather be shot dead in the eye than drown.
This goes nowhere. I just want to learn how to swim freestyle. We used to have swimming classes in college of which was my first public bathing suit appearance. I knew how to backstroke but never really learned freestyle. I'm paranoid of the air supply.
This goes nowehere again.
Tuesday, 17 August 2004
<P>
SHITE!
Had a date with my shannyboo one gloomy saturday. Old and close friend from our college org. We went to a mall to buy some stuff he needed for his collection of gundam toys---whatever that was. In between jeepney rides from Quiapo and queueing lines at the ATM, I spoke to him how gloomy and friggin sad this day was for me. How i felt hazed and dazed about my current state in the world and then he started talking about the missus.
At an age of confusion, he was thinking of getting married. We always thought about getting laid and doing circus acts and seizing the day and watching films and now he thought about getting married. He had qualms about it, with the girl. He talked of past things that was never brought up between him and her and illustrated it to me like they were lego toys deconstructed and put away by a maid in the closet. Now, he wants to get hold of that deconstructed lego and construct it.
PAST IS PAST
That was the topic. But before we went to that, he suggested for my current issue of gloom, that i take E. As in that passe drug gulped up by artistas in bars so that they get that psychedelic feeling of euphoria and up to the minute shots of artificial endorphin.
Who? ME? Artista? No, dammit, the drug. Ok.
He described the feeling. If you're wallowing in self-destruction, this makes you feel that the world is one big haute couture. Well, I can have that feeling with chocolate only that this screaming sadness is way too much for my cocoa to handle . He knew someone whom I can ask to buy for me. Turns out, that the guy he was talking about was the one i had the most wonderful past with.
Of course its ok to talk about him. He's no persona non grata to me, although he declared that to himself for about a month. What's with the past anyway? I almost tried to end my life and stoop to the lowest level becasue of that shit. I got reed and drug-addict thin because of that shit. I had the greatest performance by a hurt human being because of that shit. I became such a pathetic drunkard and alcoholic beacuse of that shit. Eventhough I know he went on shitting for a month in his shitty cave for some shitty girl. I went on and plundered shitty people.
That shit has a special house in the village of my heart.
With lace curtains and heater and a nice cofee maker.
Some shit, eh?
Past is past. Past is shit.
Thursday, 12 August 2004
HORNY AT 8AM
Hindi ko nga maintindihan eh. Bakit ba tuwing sumasapit ang alas-otso ng umaga habang nakasakay ako ng MRT nagnanak-nak ako ng kalibugan? Wala namang in-flight porn doon. Puro dyaryo naman ang nakikita ko at syempre hindi naman Busero at TikTik ang binabasa ng mga tao. Lahat ng tao bad trip at nagmamadali. Maayos naman ang damit ko, naka-pearls pa nga ako paminsan eh. Hindi naman ako gutom para maging karnal sa umaga. Pero napansin ko talaga na pag-pasok na pag-pasok ko sa MRT papuntang Ayala, lahat ng mga malibog kong nakaraan ay parang nag-gre-greet sa akin ng magandang umaga. Kaya ayan, paminsan napapangiti tuloy ako mag-isa.Parang, somwehere in my detached youth I was once that. Lustful.
Palagi naman akong nagco-commute eh. Gusto ko sumasakay ng jeep, lalo na sa QC. Hindi ako gaanong at home sa mga bus, feeling ko para akong dressed chicken. Kelan lang ako nasanay mag-taxi nang dahil na din sa mga maaarte kong kaibigan na ayaw maalikabukan. Bago pa ako lumipat ng workplace sa Makati, sumasakay naman ako ng MRT. Pero hindi sa umaga at hindi 8 am.
9pm. Pauwi. Sumakay ulit ako ng MRT matapos kong lustayin ang pera ko sa Timezone. Maraming lalaki. Natulala pa ako sa billboard ni Jay-R sa Cubao na nag-iinvite sa isang show ng mga pantit brip. Hay, ka-gwapo. Ha! Pero wala! Wala pa rin. PG-13 pa rin ang mga tumatakbo sa utak ko. Gusto kong mag-isip ng bastos pero di ko magawa. Sayang. Medyo chilly pa naman ang aircon sa MRT ng ganung oras. 9pm kasi yun eh, tapos gabi pa.
Hmmm... siguro napupunta sa akin ang mga tension ng mga tao sa umaga. Yung mga routinary MRT people going to Makati and Ortigas everyday. Siguro kinagabihan eh nakipag-love making sila sa mga jowa't asawa nila pero di na nila na savor yung morning after effect kasi nga papasok na naman sila sa trabaho. And since bago pa lang ako sa routine na ito, sa akin napupunta ang mga morning after effect nila. This must be the best baptism of fire I have ever gone through. Transcendental pa. I make up for their non-chalant glow and smile. I am an accidental absorber and harrower of their urges.
Wait, hindi ako pwede magtagal sa trabaho ko sa Makati.
Monday, 09 August 2004
CITY SCAPES
Makati is horrendous. Just thinking about it makes my feet ache, of which that blasted city literally gave me for the past week. I never dreamed of being there everyday. I just wanted that place to stay as my memories remind me of that city--- Starbucks, Music One, Powerbooks, Greenbelt 3, Timezone, Artfilms, Cinemanila, comfort rooms, stairs and brightly colored Christmas lights. Now, all these stuff take on the benches of my memory in Makati, what comes to play are high heels, black tops, MRT, 5 AM, gray stairs, elevators and aching feet. The city alienates me. It’s like an exclusive group of elite cheerleaders.
The problem with me is that I was a Quezon City baby. I was pampered by Quezon Avenue. I fancied Tomas Morato and Timog, breezed through West Ave. and circled the Circle. QC was my home and my play pen. It is my motherland and I feel like the city takes care of me as if some dusty hand around my shoulder. Everytime I stare at Quezon’s monument, I feel like its’ telling me to go forth and follow my dreams and you will be as high as me. Much as I raise praises for my abode, the city isn’t perfect. It has its fair share of stench in the form of hold-uppers in Araneta and Philcoa, flesh trade along Q. Ave and the Circle. Paulie, my friend, once coined Cubao as the armpit of Manila. Well, if you could see it now, Cubao has been using a deo-whitener.
If Makati is like a distant relative that lives in Ilocos, Manila is like a close cousin,. Manila is where I spent most of my scholarly existence. After I graduated high school, I was aghast to know that I will be spending college in Manila. I was rude and judgemental for having the city personified as some kanto boy soaking sweat with grease on his elbow with a distinct mekaniko smell. I was right. And because of that, just like cousins, Manila and I became close. The city taught me to grease my elbow and be proud of my smell. How can you not be taught? There are so many places that can teach you a thing or two about stretching one’s arm. Divisoria can get you mugged and at times mauled. Quiapo is just as beautiful and as devastating. Recto breathes student life and skin death. Espana is too busy and too darn flooded.
I know Makati is a big snob. I’m a bit snobbish too. There, we have something in common. I’ll try to befriend the city.
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This has been my sanctuary for four years already. It's my extension. Almost like a limb out in the open. Know that people want to express, to just chuck it out, to just be themselves even on something as artificial as blog. I am that people. So don't mind me...
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