gengki the newbie

in the virgin forest i enter. gengki spanks and smites. love is all you need but then again i need chocolate too.

 

TARSIERAh!

Gilgamesh is writing a satirical play. Wow. I've read some of the characters and they seem to be specially designed and crafted in the jolly wishy washy mind of my dear Gilgamesh. Haha! I used to remember how we created a new personality from a seemingly pale character in the play we were in during college.  I am also considering of doing a concept about a very rooted superhero named Tarsiera. Haha. I find it more relative since the animal is a rare find here in the Philippines. Here are the powers:

1. BIONIC PLATE EYES-- Did you know that the Tarsier can see clearly during the night? It resembles like a small platito with a vision that exceeds more than the 20/20. Of course di naman siya magsasalamin pero Tarsiera can see beyond what the eyes cannot. Tarsiera sees a pure hearted one amidst a cloak of badness. So you see, she's not judgemental. That's aside from her powers of 10X vision.  Tarsiera can have a very beautiful girl and gorgeous man for an kaaway.

2. ELASTI MARROW -  The tarsier is named after the tarsius bone--- the bone provides him stretching capacities unknown to the human body. And for that  Tarsiera can stretch like the ones of Elasti girl, can kick like the ones of Dhalsim in Streetfighter and can hold his wide scattered palm and feet firmly like the agiw of SpiderMan.  And Tarsiera can turn her head 360 degrees based on the fact that tarsiers can actually do a 360.

Well, i'd limit the powers to just 2 so it can be realistic. I figured Tarsiera has more natural power resources as compared to the brouhaha that is Darna. I do not hate Darna ok? Tarsiera will not be clothed in blood red with pointed gold stars and matching white chiffon scarf. She will just be the smallest superheroine in brown fluffy skin. What makes the tarsier more interesting is that it lives a solitude life. The tarsier is a loner.

Tarsiera can be that too in her human mode, just imbibing the surroundings and observing humanity. Well, Tarsiera is an intellectual being parallel to that of Hannibal Lecter on the good side. She will not just help people with their initial kamalasan but sermon them that they should know how to defend themselves and not just wait for her to rescue them. Because you know, she comes all the way from Bohol and she is in fact an endangered specie. She will live a normal human life being a tourist guide in Chocolate Hills with the earth name ARSI. What a cosmopolitan name for someone Visayan!

 She will eat a makahiya plant and transform herself into Tarsiera after that. (Of course by shouting Tarsiera!) She's a vegan too you know. I have conceptualized her history in a seemingly scientific manner. But i will not discuss that.

Meanwhile, I must think of an actor to play the title role:

Joy Viado.

 

posted by: gengcooker at 14:04 | link | comments |

TODAY

*Head is circling really weird today. Just met up with Tito Boy and i think he makes me fat. Really. It's a gustatory moment everytime he breezes in with his 2 bading alalays named Donnie and Dada. My god, Frenchy is making me french with the way I use the computer since the keyboard placements are different in a French oriented computer. I should probably imbibe the city and not it's technologies. Such a wonderful city especially when he said that the Eiffel tower is used for radio and Tv in France. So the ABS tower is not as romantic as the Eiffel tower. Who said media here is romantic anyway? I am now judging the establishment by its tower. Sometimes the purpose seems to be purposely seen. Who cares?  No one can really judge Filipino people. Enough about sociology.

 *I am so fascinated with the way Tito Boy makes side comments about his favorite black singers. His old talents gone crazy. It fascinates me how much the Lopez people pay him. He can really barge in and the first thing you notice is his Prada bag or LV clutch. Hay, as much as i hate to admit it I am constantly manipulated by materialsm just by the fact that i pay attention to the brand. I don't care anyway since I am not entirely poor and anak pawis.

* Geesh. Where lies afer 2 years. Will they still accept me. I guess this is the only thing that makes me want my life to be miserable. I just hate to think about those. It's the same as catching breaths when drowning. 

I feel so rusty today.

posted by: gengcooker at 16:04 | link | comments |

WENSHAPANATYM IN TIMOG

My dear reader,

I have never been to a spa. That's how third world my life is. The first time i rode a plane was last week and I didn't like it. The first time I rode a ship I thought I was in a movie. But i will now debunk the statement i wrote earlier. And it is through these kind of experiences I aptly named the blog gengkie the newbie.

My usual 'spa' is the one with my blind masseur in Philcoa. The husband of Ate Judith (i completely forgot my masseur's name!), who is situated just right outside Chowking, has an affair with my muscles. You go there, say hi to Ate Judith and she gives you a beige monoblock. You sit down and then the affair begins. It's a complete meltdown of shrapnels caused by work and the society we live in. From then on, i become a Philcoa urchin easily identified with the vendors of siniguelas, gulaman, bagoong and pirated DingDong Avanzado CDs. Although the last string of massages is done on the head and can make you look zapped by a 110 volt--- I was happy.

Last night, 11:30pm, Frenchy invited me to a real spa. Ok. What can a three letter word do anyway. That was an understatement.

I went inside and i thought i had to go to a room and meet the masseur right away. The ladies informed me I have to take a shower, I obliged. I was in my towel and to my little shop of horrors--- it was a public bathroom. I am not maarte ok, but i figured i cannot just display my body like a carinderiang bukas sa lahat ng pwedeng kumain. Well, at least we are all girls and they are either japanese or korean so i felt like a tortang talong in a tray of sashimi and tempura.

I tried the jacuzzi naked. I found out later on that i had to put on my towel and not go skinny dipping in that artificial spring. Well sorry, this assumptionista is ignorant about that jacuzzi rule. After watching a couple of GMA shows and me feeling like it was a resort since I tried to backstroke in that little jacuzzi naked, the lady led me to a smoky room. Ohmigod, I went inside and i felt like someone slapped me with a white cotton candy. I went out in 3 seconds but the lady prodded that it was just steam.  And then i felt so stupid being aghast by a matter such as a steam.

Eto na pala yung steam bath chuva.

I went inside again and saw a pair of really ugly boobs. Ito talaga panget, di sa pagmamayabang na fantastic ang boobs ko ha. That sight encouraged me to display mine hahaha! Flaunt it while you still have it ika nga.

I went out after 10mins. I checked myself in the mirror and what did i see? My body was all dewy and plump like the boldstar effects of those seen in FHM. My hair trickling down, wet and abandoned. My cheeks dewy with bits and pieces of H2O arranged in such a way to look like as if you're in a pictorial. My towel around my body, half naked and brown. My shoulder blades glistening with sweet chastity--- I was Tetchie Agbayani. Well, I had to savor that moment because on trips i still imbibe Gemma Cruz-Araneta.

The actual massage was presented after all that stuff.  And it was really good. Period.

posted by: gengcooker at 09:02 | link | comments (1) |

 ANG TARSIERA. BOW.

I am in Bohol. Yes. Another Gemma Cruz Araneta mode. I cannot believe there is an internet shop in Tagbilaran ciy--- that almost looks like Novaliches Bayan. This is sort of a birthday gift from mon amour, thanks to you. And did you know that it's my first time to ride a plane? Haha. My goodness I am so dukha. I was really scared.

ANG BIRHEN NG EROPLANO

I was seated on the very first seat the 1B number to be very particular. So when the very beautiful stewardess started to give plane instructions, which looked like a choreographed dance, i can't help but look at her unscathed tuhod that's hiding behind a skin toned stocking. Yes...  A lesbo Gemma Cruz Araneta. How old and kinky can i get huh? And because of that, i didn't even know how to put the seatbelt on which made a scene since the air plane was taking off and i was panicking on my fucking seat. Of course, the stewardess helped me while Frenchy was giggling and the people thinking that I'm a plane virgin. Well, i don't like plane rides because I can't hear. Someone informed me that it was natural because of the pressure.  Well, i felt stupid actually. But its ok at least i was the only one eating chocolate. Tanga pala ha,  mamatay kayo sa inggit.

ANG PAGTATALOP NG LIBRO SA TINALUPAN

Literally. Because the book figures we used to study in grade four with the subject Sibika at Kultura or HEKASI came to life the moment I saw the Tarsier in Corella. And it was really small like the fist of an obesed American kid. And Chocolate hills! These not so yummy geographical plops are for real. I used to remember a question i raised when i was maliit and looking like a tarsier,

' Pwede po ba kainin kapag umuulan yung chocolate hills?'

 Well, when my teacher said no, it destroyed my idea that Bohol was the hidden land of chocolates.

"Eh, bakit tinawag na chocolate kundi naman pala pwede kainin?"

Yeah! Why? It should be brown hills oir something but not chocolate hills. I think that frustration years back had a great impact on my chocolate consumption today.

Well, save for my next blog, I am about to create the new and authentic pinoy superhero that would make ABS-CBN number 1 again. And She is from Bohol.

Watch out Darna!

Here comes Tarsiera!

posted by: gengcooker at 13:45 | link | comments (7) |

YOU

I had a dream that you didn't recognize me. Then i woke up in a chilly aircon room full of white walls. It looked like a mausoleum. I must be dead. Or something like that. It was good to dream about you eventhough it wasn't exactly good. You are the foundation of everything that i ache and yearn for. You became the mold of the mosaic that i have been building up to now. It was you who broke my heart twice but i broke yours first. I didn't keep figures at hand but it seems that we are apart in numbers. The years, the chances were simply laid out but we didn't even bat a breath to move. Now, I do have every reason to hate Math and Algebra.

You are a reminder of how stubborn and stupid I was. I can even tell you to my grandkids someday. You bloomed right before my bangs could ever grow and spike my eyes. You slipped into my hands like mercury. Well, you are mercury. The more i try to step on you the many you become. And you didn't even know it. Haha! It's so funny how someone can cause a stir in another and not know and even give a damn about it.

I remember that fateful day. My guts splat out in favor of you and all you could say was " Thanks ". And then that word will never be the same. I have my own dictionary of meanings now because of that day. I could even make a new nation and supply a new language. And it was all because of that word. 

And now, I am saying this to you.

Thanks.

Webster can't help you with what it means to me. 

posted by: gengcooker at 09:52 | link | comments (4) |