Sunday, 22 May 2005
SURPRISE SURPISE!
Oh yeah. And i did wear my stepford wives dress only to end up listening to some university school event composed of a bunch of where lies? angst ridden teenagers. It wasn't even my alma mater honey so all the more bickering on my educational background. I prefer not to be bickered when they asked me if i was from that premier university of this country. Ok, so it was The premier school and then what? as if my hair would be shinier. No offense to my lovely state-u schooled friends and countrymen. it was just the unmindful crowd.
Social skills were going kaput since they were all from the European languages dept. Thank you ha Finay kasi ako eh. I don't mind. But i was a complete blackhole. I wore a plunging dress and I thought my breasts would do wonders but nada. Zilch. It was ok, at least i am not mistaken for a dumb black haired bitch.
Alcohol to the rescue of my galaxial state. Gay people are so in demand during these times. Nice, intelligent and bitchy fags if i may add. A couple of patriotic sentiments and then you are in the hot seat.
To cap off, they watched me ate a whole balut as if i was a perya.
I reclaimed my stage.
Thanks to you my motherland and all its weirdness.
Sunday, 15 May 2005
GOLD
It's not just gold. It's matte gold. Where did that word matte come from?
I was an abay last saturday at the sponsored wedding of my 2 guests in our show. It was a by-product of a recycled media hog wash to wow the audience and to temporarily help people start something. At this point it was love supplied by materialism and not a sari-sari store showcase. And how wonderful the wedding color---gold.
I bought a pair of gold open toed Manhattan looking sandals just for that. i had to let go of the green nail polish though. Obviuosly, i was the tallest in the group of abays and am not even blood related. Feels good to look regal and to exagerrate it by wearing the color of regality and sin. My writers were pissed off because they don't have any news on my stories. They cannot share the feeling.
I just want to savor that golden moment taken away from me when i was 8 years old. That was my last memory of wearing something with flamboyant lace and empire cut gown. My mom bought my mint green gown with flower patches in Divisoria then complete with lace gloves. Now, i borrowed a gown for 350 in the outskirts of Nepa Q mart because the pasadyang gown was not competent enough for a baranggay fashion week. It's ok. I look like a fledging debutante.
It was my first time. I was trembling amidst a group of 20 or so people waiting for the reception.
Tuesday, 10 May 2005
BRINK
After 5 seconds, I felt a numb tear crawling sideways to my ear. It was 1am and still no good story to present. The pressure of producing in 10 hours is succumbing me to complete exhaustion. It felt like a root canal. That's why I was so surprised not to feel my tearducts producing tears. It was such a heavy night made heavy by an unexpected rain and the maong pants that Samner washed and hung in the room like a figurine display.
4am is an automatic alarm on the state of my research. I was so hypnotized into thinking of so many people and events and life and deodorants. What to do, what to do, what to do. My deadline is today and my stories aren't even born enough to reach their death.
And so i sat on the kubeta naked for 30 minutes making my brain die of any thoughts to be thought about. That's when i realized to stand up and close my eyes. Oh, i prayed to God and i told Him that during my last memory of Sunday School i remembered a bible verse that says ' Ask and you shall receive' and then I asked. I hope i get signs that it will be received. I had no shampoo and the toothpaste was empty. So I saw the sign...
Breathing in deeply is a very good exercise to exorcise negative pressure from people who cannot fully understand what you are going through. I realized silent pressure is tantamount to defying laws of personal gravity. And because of that my urge to produce became silent and deep. Almost chasmic
But He said you shall receive. It was a simple deal. It was point blank and the results were blunt as well.
Now, I can afford to write a blog.
Thursday, 05 May 2005
RANDOM AT BAY
*Geesh. Inggit ako sa kabila. They are striking back at their sharpest tooth ika nga. All those years of wala lang ratings must prove that the world is indeed round. Gusto ko tuloy umextra dun sa bago nilang soap na parang ok ka fairy ko, kahit kawayan lang na nagsasalita ayos na. Gamil texted me that Rodolfo wanted me to act on his series again, i gave it to Anne since i think she really needs the money. Anne said that Rodolfo was very kind and handsome and bading. She put on prosthetics for that. Aww.. I'm so inggit talaga. Gusto ko pa naman malagyan din ako ng prosthetics. Ok lang. I saw Rodolfo on TV--- he looks like a bachelor with an impressive bachelor's pad. Para siyang advertisement ng produktong di pwede mabili.
* There are domestic problems in the house of Katchang. Yes, it's like Familia Zaragoza. Mama just pulverized the other house with words sharp enough to reach the gullet. I think it's called a sumpa. Wow, very Nora Aunor. There's so much drama revolving around a sumpa. It nourishes you with a struggle and fierce passion enough to last until you have gone through that predicament--- that sumpa. Nourish is the word because you know it will provide you with redemption from the statements hurled to make the other miserable. And when you know that it came true, you are then invincible. Pero sabi nila may karmaic reactions daw yun.
Sige, basta remember na lang the golden rule.
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This has been my sanctuary for four years already. It's my extension. Almost like a limb out in the open. Know that people want to express, to just chuck it out, to just be themselves even on something as artificial as blog. I am that people. So don't mind me...
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