Wednesday, 31 May 2006
LAKWA
Me and my college buddies were out last sunday to watch X-men. It's been a long time since i last stepped out of Quezon City to savor Makati air and all its ka-sosyalan. I went out with Bumper, Chawdi, Lebanis and his partner, Park.
Why Bumper? because in college she has the most luscious and plump little piece of ass in our block. Why Chawdi? It's a bastardized language that sounds like his real name coined by our former classmate who lurrrvs cutesy and baby talk shit. And why Lebanis? Hehe. no longer a bastardized name but an exagerrated physical look from the real person taken in a racial context that we as Filipinos are capable of doing as if it was normal. Park is the partner. Just that. No altercations. No spins.
So off we hopped to Rockwell, this very posh and ultra-well lighted mall. Of course, we always manage to entertain ourselves. We had star spotting in the mall.( Man, just how babaw can we get, as if i wasn't working in showbiz)
Look at our list of stars that we saw in Rockwell:
Angel Aquino with her 2 grown-up daughters. Manny Villar and his bodyguards. Maureen Larrazabal and her boobs.Gladys Guevarra and her pink jacket. Sunshine Cruz and her skin. RJ Ledesma and him alone.
We were waiting for Bumper at the movies then. Every artista we saw was like" Uy, si Angel Aquino at yung 2 anak" "Uy si Manny Villar at ito ata ang bodyguards" "Uy, si Gladys Guevara yung sa K and the boxers, ay mali, ay pink yung jacket" "Uy si Sunshine Cruz ang puti" " Uy, si Rj Ledesma"
Then Chawdi suddenly said, "Uy si Sean Penn"
Saan?
"Uy si Barbra Streisand", "Uy si Beyonce Knowles"
This is the entertainment part. Har-har
Sunday, 28 May 2006
COMMERCIAL LANG!
So ito na nga. Lately madalas na akong mag-tennis. Umaayos na ang mga palo ko. Maganda na rin ang balik ko sa forehand. Hay sarap mag-tennis. Siyempre pawisan ever hanggang garter ng panty basa. Mukha ka na namang atleta pauwi. Short shorts at tennis raket with matching backpack. Ponytail lang porma. Sweat trickling a little on the forhead. Tapos uwi ka na. Sakay ka ng killer bus na humaharabas sa daan. Pahinga ng onti. Tapos naligo ako. Anong sabon? Eto na.
Ito yung bagong sabon sa Dove. Ang sarap ipanligo. Ever. Yung color green ha. Green Tea something ata. Parang may maliliit na menthol feeling. Hay sarap. Tapos after mo maligo, you prop yourself to your bed. Then stare at the ceiling muna. PIcture yourself in the happiest of days. College. Graduation. First pat on the back. Orgasm. kahit ano.. then think of something that would contradict all of them. Find a conflict nung college. graduation. first pat on the back. orgasm. Then prepare to be emotional. Namnamin mo lang. encourage yourself to be emotional at the least. Then read a book or yung Time's Best of Asia special na ang na-feature lang sa bansa natin is yung Halo-Halo sa Manila Peninsula. For me, the last time i cried was because f this book.
Man, may sapi yung libro. Humahagod sa lalamunan ko ang emosyon nitong pakshet na librong to. Haaaah! I have to go to the bathroom and cry it out pa. Hold myself again and try to read again. Nyeta. Talaga! Bakit ba ganito? Bahket!
Fin.
Friday, 26 May 2006
lam niyo ba na may naisulat ako napagka-haba haba tapos may na click lang ako accidentally.
nawala na lahat.
ayan.
puta.
oh well.
Saturday, 20 May 2006
HOW TO KEEP A RELATIONSHIP.... FROM ACROSS THE MILES
1. Buy a good phone. or have him/her ship you a good phone. Communication is key and on a price. An SMS costs 15pesos so write whatever lovelorn feeling or daily triviality that you feel. Keypads must be soft enough. Don't go for that Nokia 1100 phone unless you want a stigmata peering your cuticle. Before, i had the first Nokia colored phone and my ring tone was The Locomotion by Kylie Minogue. He gave me a phone with bursting lights at the sides and softer keypads. My ringtone now is the Rococo, it sounds like a Twilight Zone effect you hear when the twist of the story has unfolded. Keep a regular schedule of texts and sweet whatevers. But it should be sincere and should come from the heart not from the template messages. i discovered there is a template message on my phone that says "I love you too" Oh and don't ask " Kumain ka na ba? or Tulog na me. Tulog na u? Please... our partners have lives... of course they eat and sleep.
2. Schedule a chat on webcam. Usually chats are from 11pm to 2am. Be ready. Sleep before you chat. And look good naman. Tilt the webcam to your most desired angle. Test the webcam. Look at yourself first. Pwede na bang pumasa sa Regal? Regal Shocker! Hek-hek. Going back, Find a comfortable place to chat. A big swivel chair will do minus the surot ha. I recommend Sation 168 in T. Morato. I recommend the comforts of chatting but not the rate they charge. Pricey honey. I went to this internet shop along Timog with swivel chairs from the attic of the Cryptkeeper. I was bitten on my back and it swelled up to the size of an old piso. Beware of surot. It can cause utter paranoia lalo na't di mo alam kung ano yung surot. Akala mo signs of leprosy na.
Of course those are the technicalites.
I cannot teach how to learn patience, compromise and waiting. I cannot teach how to purge cold lonely nights. I cannot teach coping mechanisms on fits of depression. I cannot teach what words to say to secure the partner. I think i have yet to learn them myself.
Friday, 12 May 2006
NINANG GENG
I will be a ninang (again, pero official na ito) on Sunday to my very cute pinsan. He looks like me when i was a baby. I figured i had to go shopping for some ninang gifts. I went to this baby section of SM and i said i am not used to this. I don't know what to buy! Everything is so cutesy and little and blue and pink. As if blue and pink lang ang synonymous colors to gender ha. Di ba pwede ang Green at Orange. Lagi na lang Blue at Pink! Pink at Blue! I am inclined to the color blue but i do not like pink. I think pink saps out the energy in women. The color is so helpless so much that im going to have bone cancer when i wear one. Peeenk. So, since the pinsan is male i bought white and blue stuff. Actually, i had to ask my Tita what the baby needs. Clothes daw. Ok. Ayan. I also bought some baby bath para bago isuot ang damit ok na. di ba. Then out of my reeking cutesy impulse, i bought this brown dagul shoes na hindi naman talaga sapatos kundi pranelang hugis tuta. Pero cute pa rin.
  
O ayan. May pang regalo na ako sa inaanak ko. But i forgot i had one unofficial inaanak na baby ni Kublai Khan. Hay... sa Pampanga kasi ang binyag at di ako naka-punta. Hatiin ko na lang yung regalo.
Ito nga pala yung pinsan ko. Cute niya noh?
*****
I would like to announce to myself that after almost 3 years of living dangerously without any savings, without any slight idea of what it is to be an official adult, I am now beggining to save money. For what? For what? I have problems saving money dear. I would like to curb that problem before things get outta hand. Plus i have very unforgiving moodrahbel who, i think, won't accept me in the house the minute i lose my current job and stay bumming in the house. What child rearing exercises would be more beneficial to me than to live my own life the moment i get my blank diploma in PICC. And this is the evidence. Mababa lang ang maintaining balance. 1K lang.
Oh, and that's 2 of my fingers in pussy red nail polish that somebody manicured which i paid from my hard-earned money.
Friday, 05 May 2006
I Make People Cry
Age 5. I threatened a playmate that if she doesn't stop pestering i'll really hit her. Of course, she dared me to hit her. We were both Arians i think and somehow the Rams in me sent a kid furious looking for a stick. I went back and she saw that i had something in my hand. Dared me again to hit her as if she knew my 5 years of existence. So i did. Hit her smooth. Hit her hard. Smack on the face. With a stick. With my own hands. With my own 5 year old might. I was a very silent girl. I was easy to talk to. Dare me and I will. She cried a lot. Her cries then would be tantamount to child abuse now.
Age 15. Puberty stage festered with acne. Bangs over my face. Teenage angst, highschool crush plus feeling ugly and oily all over. I co-exist among the chairs and i was the C-crowd. I loved Math though it does not reciprocate my feelings towards the subject. I walked in the middle aisle to answer a math problem while our teacher goes out. Then this shithole classmate of mine (where is he now?) burst out Putok! Putok! Putok! Putok! in the guise of a hen looking for some food. I didn't mind. I came back to my seat, looked at my answer on the board. I realized i had the wrong answer and came back to correct it before the teacher comes in. Then the shithole does it again while i write on the board. He turned up the volume this time. I knew it was aimed at me. I know my body, honey. I don't have putok. I have pus on my pimples, i eat my nails dirty from libag and my fart sounds like a ship boarding passengers but i don't emit gases from my armpits. I am not in denial. Carry on honey. Look at the board and have fun with Math. Then he goes at it again as if upping the ante to unleash my Rams. Then it was unleashed. From the chalkboard flew an eraser smack to his nose. He had asthma. This time no talk ensued. I could see how his eyes glisten from coughing up the dust particles i rammed to his trachea. Moodrahbel was summoned. Gave me a sermon on proper hygiene. Thanks a lot. Moodrahbel issues is another topic to be blogged about.
Age twentysomething. Looking 4 years more than my actual age. Offer to pay food and drinks. Notebook in hand and sometimes tape recorder. I ask questions. Very personal questions. How did your mother die? Did anyone find out that you aborted your baby? Did your mother found out about your stepdad's harrasment? How many of your family members were buried in the pile of garbage? What made you enter prostitution? What was your greatest struggle during your sickness? Before your father died of aneurysm, what is your last memory of him? I fold my notebook. Prepare my bag. Shake the hand of the person and comfort him/her a bit. Look at him/her in a way that would tell him/her that all is well. And yes, all is really well. Thank you for sharing that cut of tear. I made you cry.
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This has been my sanctuary for four years already. It's my extension. Almost like a limb out in the open. Know that people want to express, to just chuck it out, to just be themselves even on something as artificial as blog. I am that people. So don't mind me...
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