NEVER AGAIN
Whew. Wala na naman akong pera at 5 days to go pa till next sweldo. Andami ko pa assignments at pending. Then may meeting pa na medyo malayo ang meeting place next week. Naubos ang pera ko sa araw-araw na inom at gimik. Medyo matagal ko na rin di ginagawa ito kaya bigla akong poorita kalaw in the next 5 days. kakain na lang ako ng pinakbet sa kanto. Pero in fairness andami ko ngang gimik. at andami kong freeloader moments. di ko sinasadya yan ah.
nanood ako ng devil wears prada for free dahil premiere night ito sa Podium. Connections lang ang labanan nito. Then may free buffet. Sarap. Ganda pa ng movie. Ganda pa ng mga attire ni Anne Hathaway na gumagawa ng comeback matapos ang pagbalandra niya ng suso sa Brokeback Mountain. Walang kapantay ang talent ni Meryl Streep. pag ako naging boss gusto maging Miranda Priestly type. hehe... siyempre uminom kami ni leila sa Bigsky. Ok naman. yun ang bulk ng gastos ko. Kebs na basta may Pilsen.
Then the following day nanood naman ako ng My SuperexGirlfriend for free ulit dahil nga premiere night and another latch of network connections. Kasama ko si AD at Leila. Di naman nakapanood si AD dahil may tinatapos na script. Ok naman yung movie. Medyo langkwenta. pero gusto ko kasi si Uma THurman. gumastos pa ako ng ilang hundreds dahil sa ka-adikan ko sa Virtua Tennis sa Timezone. Talo naman palagi.
Then dumiretso kami sa Saguijo. First time ko doon at mukha lang siyang bahay na may mga waitress na di naman interisado sa rock n roll. Anyway, surprise yun for me dahil bahala na gang kaming tatlo that night. Ok. Ganito ha. I have nothing against rock music especially rock musicians. Pero meron talagang sablay eh. Hindi siguro nila alam yun kasi coool sila. Kasi they sing songs i, from a very masa background, have never heard off. O siya sige na. Cool kayo eh. Pero nagpanting ang tenga ko dahil parang noise pollution yung naririnig ko. Ayoko na banggitin ang banda kasi di naman supersikat. Alam ko naman yung ingay lang sa rock music.
Anyway, lumabas ako ng onti para inumin ang pilsen ko (siyempre na-shock si leila sa entrance ticket na nakasulat na pale/mineral lang ang choices. Parang yes or no lang di ba?) Hinabol ako ni kuyang guard sa labas dahil bawal daw uminom in the streets of Makati. Oh-Wow! Bahhkeet? Dadamputin daw ako ng Mobile police. O siya sige na. Makati is Makati and i hate makati for that.
Bumalik ako't tumugtog na yung bandang nagandahan ako sa tunog. Rock and roll and all that shitty attitude plus sigaw-sigaw ng konti. Pero ang sarap pakinggan. Hindi yung sarap na soothing music ha. Malinis. Maayos. Parang knife cutting through water. Pedicab yung band. Ok naman pala sila. Natuwa ako.
Then punta ulit the following day sa Bigsky. Ang lakas ko pang manood ng sine with JP sa gateway... ganda pala yung Kubrador. Inom the next next day sa Xaymaca. Ayan broke ako. Tapos pupunta ako ngayon sa CCP para manood ng libreng play.
Masarap naman yung pakbet eh.
Tuesday, 08 August 2006
ACT
Never really saw it coming. Until it really came to a halt. Well, it didn't stop. It just disappeared. Like an evaporation. Dried up. Hydrogen separates from oxygen and flung into the heavens. Oh but why? Can love really dry up and be surrendered to the heavens. Unless it chose to stay under the sun and not on some shed or among the grasses that are moist.
Water in evaporation is an act of God. Dries up and descends again. A system created by Someone so genius. Love in evaporation is an act of decision. Water has no free will and it cannot decide on its own. Shaped by a bottle, or in little plastic bags and flung into the air to separate from another gas that has long been his companion. But they cannot choose, it is Natural.
I am not water. I do not evaporate. I think i deserve to be treated as not just water.
2 months have passed and i found out i have been reduced to water. And i think it has been good that i am able to experience being evaporated.
Thanks for the ride up but we have rollercoasters here.
Friday, 04 August 2006
SUGAT
This is not a moon nor a volcano. It's actually my sugat. Looks really yucky but that's it. My human flesh exposed and in grief. Actually that's my tuhod and the wound i got from my latest bar scandal in Puerto Galera. I hurt myself.
It doesn't really look like this. At first. Like a patch on the floors of the moon and like someone shot me. It had been brown like shards of old skin rescuing each other so as not to put my flesh in a vulnerable state. You know how insides can be very sensitive to all the ugliness outside. And it has a knee point of view.
Last time i had a wound like this was in grade three. I was dragged in a moving tricycle somewhere in Quezon City. Awful wounds. Really ugly. Whitish pus like matter with hints of moisture rich blood red. It proved to be a delight on my part since i always shred off the brown thing that builds up hard, the one that makes the peklat or poknat for that matter.
And this is what i did with my new sugat. I shredded it off in pure delight. Killing time and killing ugly thoughts. Shredding little by little from the outside to the core. Made me happy. Made me feel like a kid on top of a mango tree. Saliva drooling happy since it was kinda hurting when you shred off the eye of the wound.
And if you really look at it. The wound seems happy. It has the pout.
