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*** gengki the newbie ***
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Tuesday, 30 January 2007 ALONE AGAIN (NATURALLY) So two days ago I was again in Baguio. My first post about it was a bit negative and spur of the moment. I had little budget with me but it was enough to last for 2 days there. It was colder than the usual especially on Day 2. My body doesn't welcome coldness really. I have said before that i can't use electric fan in number 3 mode and i can't stand aircons too much or else my nose will get clogged. And in my search for Ate Mina (my interviewee who lost her phone with no permanent address) the Baguio air gets more giddy in its coldness as if turning up the knob of an aircon unit. I can feel that, of course, because aside from my thin skin, i am again alone and it gets colder metaphorically. Dramatic moments of love. Cheka! Well, it is dramatic. Walking on backpacks along Session road, observing people and looking at people just to check if Ate Mina resembles them. And walking again on a loner leave me alone mode in snobbish Olsen Twins shades. Perfect setting of meeting by passing strangers. But then, since my face doesn't invoke an amiable nature people just walk by me too. Huhuhu. But its fine at least i don't look stupid enough to attract hold uppers. I scoured 4 hotels in Baguio city. First priority was the nearness to food establishments so off i went inside Hotel 45 along Session. I saw the room and i felt that it was the look of my coffin when i die of loneliness. My face twitched sidewards like a reflex and the hotel girl saw it. I couldn't hide my emotions about my dislikeness for the room so my face muscles had to work it. I just had to get away, far away from there and just vanish. Facial expressions are powerful. I settled for Belfrantl hotel, a nice one, in the Gen. Luna road just atop the Central Market. It made me feel more lonely though because i had three beds with me but at least it didn't make me feel sleeping inside a coffin. And i have three towels and three pillows all by myself. So what do i do, my main objective was to look for a person. I bought newspapers (even the dirty ones) and the Newsweek that i read from cover to cover just to kill time. Hang out in cheap coffee shops frequented by people as if i was a spy. Walk again and check out stores. Fortunately on the 2nd day i saw ate Mina near the church and it felt really good to see her at last! Ate Mina toured me to Tam- awan Village which i really liked. Authentic Ifugao, Bontoc and Batad huts were placed there and scattered around a small mountain. Tourists can even get accomodations on the huts for less than 1,000 a night. I think it's meant only for 2 people since its really small, cozy and very Travel Time. It's an artists village as said on the brochure. Lots of ME time in Baguio. I think people should try that at one point in their lives. Just be alone in a place you don't have an inkling of---- like in Japan. Very Lost in Transalation. Saturday, 27 January 2007 JETSET Andito ako ngayon sa Baguio. Mag-isa at naghahanap ng lugar na maliliguan dahil di pa nga ako naliligo. Bukod sa paghahanap ko ng matinong banyo na siyempre may hot and cold shower, hinahanap ko din ang isang taong bigla na lang nawalan ng cellfone. Dito yan sa Baguio. Hindi ko maintindihan kung naiinis ba ako o nafru-frustrate o dala lang ng mga hormonal changes dulot ng aking pagkababae. Andami kasi Koryano dito at hindi ako makasingit sa Station 168 (Baguio Branch) tapos mega search pa ako ng balay na mura (so, homeless person ako for the moment) kaya pag baba pa lang ng Victory Liner naramdaman ko na ang mga kunot sa noo ko. Siyempre voluntary reflex na naman yan ng katarayan ko. Oiliness ang buhok ko. Meron pa akong tigyawat sa ilalim ng ilong na naghuhumiyaw sa nana. Meron talagang concentration camp ang mga pimples ko grabe and it's around my mouth area. Amoy Piattos pa ang hininga ko. Ayan na naman, kunot noo na naman. Punyeta. Naiinis ako ngayon. Yun lang. Ang gara ng buhay. Bwahakhak! Tuesday, 23 January 2007 IT IS I remember some story told to me by an actor-friend: There's this girl who wanted badly to act on stage so much that the mere fact of just walking on the stage in a running play would mean a great feat for her. So there's this play and she was cast as part of the taumbayan as usual but she had a line and it goes like this... " Is it? ". It's not a line, it's a question. A question that can move the play forward or add spice to the taumbayan scenario or a catalyst for a secret to unfold or maybe just a friekin question. Siyempre, the girl was so excited, eventhough they were just 2 articles, kasi they can mean something for the play. So off she went, rehearsing it every single day. She would practice upon waking up, in front of the mirror, while taking a bath and Infront of her dogs; mouthing "Is it?" in many different tones and texture an actor can come up while remaining true to her character as a taumbayan. Just rehearsing her single line in a play. And now comes the play, which of course she invited all the people important in her life, all her acting teachers and her former theatre groupies. Everybody was there. And there goes the most awaited scene where she goes up and questions the main character.... and you know what she said? " It is? " I don't know if this was true. I think i know the moral of this story but i can't mouth it... it might come out different. bwahaha! Which reminds me of a french girl i met during my theatre days. She just graduated theatre arts from France and was in Manila to observe the local theatre scene via our company. She was given a role in a production and she said it was a weird experience because she had been studying acting and theatre disciplines in France but the the first major role that she got here was a chicken. A chicken owned by Romulus the Great. Boo hoo! I told her she's lucky because my first acting career paved way for me as i essayed the role of a rock. And she looked me as hard as a rock.
Tuesday, 16 January 2007 SCHEME OF THINGS How do you catch people really? I want to know how. How do you know when someone is working on one big system of a scheme? That even a nudge and the brushing of shoulders are all under a plan to convince something of somebody? How do you calculate somebody who's so calculated? How do you catch people really? I wish i had Jean Grey's power and i could just see it through as easily and to spare myself of useless ruminations on WHO DID IT? I say, beware of people who call attention to themselves with an unnecessary pitch . People who are consciously aware of stealing a moment from somebody's moment. People who brandish about any form of publicity he/she has made. People who don't listen and hates loudness except the ones coming from him/her. As for me, i guess, i am a subject of physical, emotional and mental envy. Ah yes, let me prepare you for what i have to say: somebody is envious of me. Because i can wear cotton skirts and not let my vagina run loose. Because i can talk little and let my words stick with just about every fucking brains there is in sight. Because i can be trashy and untrash myself in front of everybody and emerge like a pink diamond. And all of the above is just effortless. Ah yes, brand me proud, but i have my piece and no one has it but moi. I smell a slithering snake outside of the snake pit. Betrayal is a performance art. Monday, 08 January 2007 SHOWBIZ It only hit me the moment my then future executive producer had asked me the question after a panel interview: So how long have you been in showbiz? And, I, for a moment, swallowed an invisible saliva. Showbis? Me? Uh, I think you're mistaken I said to myself. I paused for a moment and a reality gong came droning my head as it fills itself with images of all the work i got right after graduation, indeed, i am in showbiz. And so i answered: 2 1/2 years. Because showbiz equals artistas (of course). And I am never fond of them. But then again, i was and still is, working for the benefit of showbiz and the artistas. So, in a galaxial hierarchal state, i am a part of their system; this small pond composed of small fishes in the galactic and campy world of third world showbiz. And it really is dirty and glamorous. And i know some issues at its heartest which often would be the topic during get-togethers with friends simply because you represent that area. So sue me, hahahaha! You see, our local showbiz is like a still small pond. It doesn't ripple on the surface because the pond is so deep you know a loch ness monster can fit in it and all the tremors are underneath. They fight, back bite, kiss and make-up, liposuct, exchange boyfriends, explore virginity, cry to milk sympathy, taunt and provoke inside a box that we call TV. And the people just looooove it. Love isn't even a word to explain. They have a relationship with a box that reduces their neurons in amounts similar to a serving of caviar. But that is the ugly part meaning it has a beautiful part (a vague concept but it has that part) too and one of the beauty that comes with it for me is that it feeds me; that basic of an instinct. And i am greatful for that but there is much needed cleansing and exfoliation on local TV really... i love Aling Tasing, the quintessential epitome of a masa viewer. And seriously, I just wish we take her seriously. Because SHE can get it, it might be different, but Aling Tasing can! And this is what we call Power to the People. So last night, i went to a birthday party cum press conference of Katrina Halili. And i figured, i am inside the territory of the small pond. I saw some local actors where i even shared a table with them and they didn't really strike me as someone interesting or maybe, just maybe, i am unfriendly and judgemental. Good thing though, AD was with me or else i'd look like a mono bloc chair which eventually happened after AD left. You know, i am used to being out of place in certain events like crashing a party but i am never bored. That night, i looked like a bored mono bloc chair wearing a mini skirt. PS Speaking of Power to the People, I watched Ligalig. And in fairness to Cesar Montano. Lalong lalo na kay Sunshine Cruz. I should hand it over to Cesar who made an 'unsafe' movie. My boss says that Ligalig is a film noir--- whatever that is but at least Aling Tasing can tell any GI Joe that she knows film noir! San ka pa? ****** FILM NOIR pronounced as film nwah. The term film noir (French for "black film") Film noir is a cinematic term used primarily to describe stylish Hollywood crime dramas, particularly those focused on sex and corruption. Hollywood's classic film noir period is generally regarded as stretching from the early 1940s to the late 1950s. Film noir of this era is associated with a low-key black-and-white visual style that has roots in German Expressionist cinematography, while many of the prototypical stories and much of the attitude of classic noir derive from the hardboiled school of crime fiction that emerged in the United States during the Depression. Parang ka lang nagsabi ng film at nasuka... film noir. Thursday, 04 January 2007 BELAT! My new years day was met with me sitting on a swivel chair with our cat on my lap while i watch Almost Famous. My brother told me that it was 12pm already and so i should move my butt to my Tito's mansyon to sort of eat and talk. I said what for? And Shampoo, our cat, looks at me as if to agree. I celebrated New Year's dinner with my 2 brothers a little earlier than usual. Around 10pm, i think. We're so hungry and to hell with the clock ticking at 12pm. Just the three of us; the aloof youngest brother, the vain third child and the unica malditang ate. My kuya is i don't where he is and nobody knows his number except Moodrahbel. My parents drove up to Benguet for New Years because Poodrahbel hates the noise and the way people celebrate New year. Just the two of them. I told my brothers that that reason is the sub-reason for driving up north. What could be 2 married people doing in a cold cold place like Benguet?Pick strawberries? And mind you, poodrahbel is very malibog. My vain brother, i don't know from what planet he is, just couldn't figure it out. Punyeta, eh di mag sesex sila dun. The brother says that's impossible, they're old. Oh come on! The New years day is again another family day for us the whole clan--- the Gomez clan. And no, Richard and Lucy weren't there. As usual, my Titas telling my little cousins how fat, thin, big boobed, pimpled, tall each of us were since they last saw us. I think this is the first time i got drunk in a family reunion. My other Tito played host as he cooked up activities zapped from noontime shows with games like Pinoy Henyo and Pera o Batya (wala kasing bayong that time) etc. He even initiated a dance contest for my small cousins who gyrated to the tune of Choopeta which the usual winner of it was based on how loud the claps and jeers were. These little girls, if they only knew... and where did the sound of claps as barometer of a winner originated from? My Tito even made paagaw some money to everybody's delight! Of course, me being drunk and seeing crisp 20 peso bills flutter around my head made me so greedy i used my long hands to stretch out the money much to the dismay of my little fat cousins. Belat! I got almost 1,000 pesos all in all from that paagaw plus the pa-cute factor from my Titos and Titas to give me money though i look like i'm the one who's supposed to give out pamasko na. Thank God I still get money from making pa-cute to my relatives! Belat! |
This has been my sanctuary for four years already. It's my extension. Almost like a limb out in the open. Know that people want to express, to just chuck it out, to just be themselves even on something as artificial as blog. I am that people. So don't mind me... counter
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