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gengki the newbie

in the virgin forest i enter. gengki spanks and smites. love is all you need but then again i need chocolate too.

About me

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What about me? I fart pungently. I breathe normally. I have pinhead love warts. I refuse to be broke. I like myself. I forget to brush my teeth at times. I miss my 25 inch waistline.

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Thursday, 23 August 2007

PEEP! PEEP!

So when was the last time you peed in your pants? I just peed on my torn capri denim pants awhile ago inside a mall. I don't know whats up with my gall bladder but it seems she's getting too much of a diva to wait just for this day. And of all places to wet myself--- Robinsons Place Ermita. Ika nga ni Paulie ' the international mall' known for sightings on bevy of girls and their 'success stories'.

You see when we sense that we want to pee, normally people can hold it for as long as 15 minutes until the moment is too ripe enough to even hold it in. But for this day, the moment i felt it, it was just a snap 5 seconds and boom! I didn't even push myself to stop it and then by reflex, out i go rushing to the comfort room. I had to unzip it while on queue for me to save time because it won't waste seconds bursting it out of my vagina.  

Now the problem is this, I just cannot understand some women who take their time inside. Hello? We're in a public john and people should be aware enough to speed it up since visibly there is a line of vaginas waiting to explode out there and unfortunately, mine just did. Upon my own estimation,  it would take only 60 seconds if you time a single normal exercise of peeing from the second she unzips or lifts up her skirt down to towelling off her vagina to zipping up, flushing and feeling her butt. What do they do there? Doze off? Measure the length of their pubic hair? Natunaw na ang glaciers sa north pole andun pa rin siya.

One observation though, CRs in malls are quite different from CRs in clubs. The difference are the women who spend time on the mirror checking out other women's faces just to see who is amongst the most beautiful while checking out themselves as well. Clubs can be likened to one big mating jungle.

Oh well, i had to buy new shorts in the mall and nobody took notice of the dark lining. Eww. Project pa rin as a normal shopper kahit mapanghe na. hehe. leche. At least may bago akong shorts.

Ngayon ko lang narealize na kadiri pala itong kwento ko ngayon.

posted by: gengcooker at 18:09 | link | comments (3) |

Friday, 17 August 2007

BEDSCENE WITH DENNIS TRILLO

Ito talaga at hindi ko na papalagpasin ito. Siguro last year ata inamin ko naman sa sarili ko na crush ko si Dennis Trillo dahil wala lang as if kelangan ng matinding explanation... ako pa naman ang mega deny na umaanib sa mga showbiz kababawan like having crushes sa mga artista and of all artistas si Dennis Trillo pa... how Kapuso channel.

Siyempre as time lapse goes by nawawala na rin ang mga ganyang feelings kasi nga kilig shet lang yan eh. Nakita ko nga siya with his girlfriend sa Benny Benassi party sa WTC just this year at naisip ko oh well he's just human and he wants to party like hell. It's just so weird na medyo makakatrabaho ko siya for a time and isa sa mga pinaka shet moments of acting ko sa tanang ng pagbalandra ko sa teatro, pelikula at telebisyon ay ang BEDSCENE ko with him.

Teka, bago magtaasan ang kilay. Nagkaroon talaga ako ng bed scene sa kanya. In terse terms, scene in a bed. We were both together on a bed. Kinabahan ako actually kasi nung pinatuntong ako ni direk sa kama sinabi niya yakapin ko daw siya in such a way na magkayakap ang mag-asawa na matutulog. Well, amidst the busy air of the set i felt na they were all watching me most especially the girls, gays and Mr. Trillo's assistant. Of course, who wouldn't be, it's fucking Dennis Trillo and i get to be in bed with him in a wifely position. And he's really cute, mysteriously aloof and he likes rock & roll (syempre may konting research).

When direk was about to roll he stopped and went to our set. 

"Gengki, ipatong mo ang legs mo kay Dennis... relax lang... snug yourself on his shoulder... like lovers do"

So hindi pala ako relaxed all the while.

"Kinikilig ampotah."

Iyan ang narinig kong comment from my AD/friend to which everybody took notice. Leche ka talaga AD/friend. I hate that feeling. Hindi ako kinikilig noh! Put my right hand daw on his left breast... uuy... libreng kapa and the muscles are firm like a flattened pan de sal. And with that the cameras started rolling.

After that i tried to restrain myself from beaming. Punta agad ako sa CR at naghugas ng mukha. Punyeta talaga ang hirap ng nagkukunwaring hindi kinikilig.

Dennis' assistant told me that she took us a pic on her camera phone. Souvenir daw. Not everybody gets the chance na ikama si Dennis Trillo. And with that my mind went eeeeeeeeeekkkkkkk! 

I'm so over him anyway.

posted by: gengcooker at 16:26 | link | comments (4) |

Saturday, 11 August 2007

THE GATHERING

It's Iko's birthday celebration today held in Mcdonalds. He's the only son of Kublai who never looked like the typical bore of a mummy with her pierced nose, back tattoo, Cynthia Luster hairdo and Manila spunk (imagine that description). The only thing that looked so mummy on her was her choice of nail polish: beige. (Mine is colored eggplant)

Before that gathering we had some time to be together while having our nails done.  We headed off to Penguin in Malate for a sit down rendezvous and lo Paulie was there too with Aries listening to some jazz punk fusion music.  Well, the bitterbitch let us be and so started our so called female bonding. She in SML and me in a margarita. Let me crimp up some of our thoughts: relationships and contentment.

K: So, when are you gonna have kids?

G: I'm too selfish for that.

K: What are you waiting for?

G: For me to be unselfish.

K: Di na darating yan... you will be selfish... with kids.

G: OK (sabay tingin sa malayo)

Its funny because she didn't ask me when am i gonna get married and then have kids. Oh well, for a time, yes errr no, for the longest time i have been selfish. Of course its not only me but then i have always believed in small and large indulgences be it consumerist or not. Gahd, i cannot even save properly for myself how much more for other people.  If You only knew how much i am bending myself to keep things straight financially lalo na sa pagkain.  I think i am in a direction towards vegetarianism. 

I am hoping to unlearn that if not all the time then in times of emergencies. Oh yes, i am such a flawed character--- looking for answers in the wrong places and finding other places fit for habitation. Leche puro metaphors. Basta.

Kublai also had this dilemma. Her focus on contentment in her current relationship seems in a daze. Her main fault is discontentment. She wants to write a book on how people are always looking for something else. Goodluck. And i suddenly remembered a line i got from a forgotten source--- Contentment is death. Parang may pagka Oscar Wilde ang hirit na iyon but then it has a point.

Anyway, somehow Kublai and me live parallel lives except for the kids part and McDonald's parties.

P.S.

Try throwing away your clothes on the floor as if your making palayas to somebody. Feels good.

 

posted by: gengcooker at 15:24 | link | comments (1) |

Wednesday, 01 August 2007

MAKULAY ANG BUHAY

Nakakaloka lang itong nakaraang linggo. Pero pasalamat na rin ako dahil i might not seem interesting at least interesting ang mga kaganapan.

Na-meet ko na rin si Mother in person. Nakakaloka siya. Isa siyang urban living legend sa industriya ng pelikulang pilipino. Yung bahay niya sa san juan ay parang warehouse ng mga gamit na hindi pa nagagamit. Parang gusto mo ng sofa? Heto ang isang building at mamili ka sa loob.

Madami na rin akong narinig na istorya about her rippling presence. Ayaw nilang macounter-flow si Mother sa daan at baka magtanong magkamali ka ng sagot at may libre kang umbag. Kaya naging wary na rin ako sa kanyang whereabouts. Nagkataon lang nung nagkita kami ay nakakulot siya at in a good mood at binati niya ako with a big aha! Siyempre ang ngiti ko singtamis ng panotsa. Well ang sabi ko na lang the world would be a bore if it weren't for creatures like her. Somehow her lack of warmness for humanity makes up for what she is doing popularly.  

Then naisip ko lang, i think its about time we highlight people who make lives a living hell for all of us. Yung mga nagkakandarapa na manira ng pangalan. Yung mga heads with inhumane demands. Our mentors and tormentors. Those who put trust and abandon leaving you in shackles. Those who ply out the nastiest things about us. Herald them for a day and curse them for their lifetime for they have made our lives more colorful and worth living. An everyday struggle not to wimp out on life is just a blast.

Ika nga niya makulay ang buhay sa sinabawang gulay

posted by: gengcooker at 16:54 | link | comments |