PREGNANT AND WORKING
I feel that I am getting heavier though based on the scale i haven't gained anything in the last 3 months. I'm still 125lbs but i just feel heavier and bloated especially after meals. This pregnancy just gives me the perfect excuse to act lazy, obnoxious and stupid but of the three adjectives i have subscribed to laziness because i feel heavy until i am jolted of the many things WE have to pay as adults.
I am juggling 2 jobs now both which are from TV production. But these 2 jobs are, although both in TV, are of different fields. One requires me to be on top of everything organizational with very minimal budget and one requires to really think and rely on my 'jologitang' imagination with creative pressure involved. I'm just glad that i don't do office hours and i work whenever i want to work of course with given deadlines but my gad! the pressure is just shoved up my ass or am i just imagining this pressure? At least people are lenient with me beacuse of my state but i'm not keen on exemptions. And we don't have that maternity leave thing with this kind of work... nah.
*** These are pics of me and Dennis Trillo in different set-ups and years. He is the only artista that i had most photographs with. Hay naku!
This is the year when i was just starting out in my new home network and his star quality was exploding all over. We both look young pa talaga dati.
Ako yan talaga with the panda look. I just took of some of the multo make up but my face still looks scary in an eyebags sort of way. This was taken last year on a shooting. I was this mumu and he was, of course, one of the stars. This i can say we are co workers on a film. Naks. Pero parang ayaw niya tumabi sa akin.
And this one was just last month. Hindi siya ang ama ng pinagbubuntis ko. This was shot in a presscon for a non primetime drama of which he is a star and i'm part of the creative team. Ano na ba ang tawag sa amin pag ganun? Colleagues? Industry friend? or co-worker pa rin? Kung ano man basta mas gwapo siya rito.
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
PANAGINIP
Ang weird kasi napaginipan ko na naman siya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit napapaginipan ko pa rin siya and the old feeling is still the same in my dreams. And its always a good thing to relive that feeling again believe me... just the feeling dear as if i'm renting it again if emotions could be rented. Yes, it's him. My so called first love nung highschool. The one who got away and since ayoko ng mga regrets i thought i shouldn't have let him get away even if it took me 8 years to reiterate that feeling. Note the word REITERATE, it means it has been done before and i just did it again after 8 years. But then we have choices and he wanted to get away so medyo ampalaya bitter herbs ako for quite sometime. It's finished the bitter herb has turned into a little cream puff. Landi.
He knows this and he was overwhelmed, he didn't expect it to come from me. I had to explain to him but he just couldn't get it and then i knew napaka enormous pala ng capacity ko to love that the object of affection just doesn't get it. I am happy that i am able to tell him about that and it's just a Niagara fall of emotions i can detach myself from the feeling and the object of that feeling which is him. After that i just realized what a piece of wuss that guy is but then when i reminisce that feeling napaka-sarap. I must admit it's something i have never felt before even with my husband.
I dearly love my husband. His love is like Ice Cream in a Sarah Mclachlan piece. I am glad to propagate species with him chos! Of course, I adore him and he has made me smile and sigh with a relief that I am leading a good life with a man i truly respect and love to bits even as i wash dishes. Washing dishes, i can say, is my hour of truth. And in my hour of truth, i have pondered that maybe he could have been my greatest pitfall and probably a soulmate. I can't have him and the feeling associated with him is just too vintage i can wear it any season like an old brooch. Doesn't this sound so like a Garcia-Marquez novel? Wag naman sana.
Life is just beautiful imperfect and it's so dramatic if it remained that way.
