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*** gengki the newbie ***
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Monday, 30 March 2009 I want to re-connectThese are some of the people who made me the way I am. Unfortunately, I have lost touch. One is just a face on Facebook. And the other two are just nowhere.
1. Mafhel Dimaano Mafhel and I became close when she came bouncing in our sophomore year as a transferee all the way from New York. She's a New Yorker when we were all friekin fourteen year olds with teen angsts and our face were a chock full of zits. She was a bomb at that time. Note that we were mostly provincial and conservative Catholic Highschool girls with no idea what a lipgloss is. Mafhel swept all of us. She had big boobs. She wore short flowery skirts. She even wore eyeliner in school. She was the first ever to sport a Jansport backpack in our batch. And she spoke real English. The popular girls from our batch were threatened by her presence because of her cup size. I thought she would come to terms with her popularity and just hang out with the rest of 'em cool girls. Well, whaddya know? She hang out with me. We clicked. She likes poetry and she made me read Little Women even before it was required to read. She likes to hike and loves yellowish lugaw (rice porridge). She handed me some clothes that 'liberated' women wear and even offered me to buy a see through bra from Victoria's Secret. After a year or so, she went back to NY. I miss her and all her quirks. She sent me Jell-o from time to time. She's now based in NY and i don't know if she has plans to come back here. 2. Marie Mamawal Mam Marie is my college professor. She reminds me of myself at the height of my lunacy. I was never really the chikadora type or sipsip kind of student to her but i think she grew fond of me. She offered me a job on TV while i was still all over our thesis and wanting to graduate. She's the reason why I am here right now working for local TV. I don't know why she has this utter faith in my capabilties in every work that i do. She treated me like a daughter and gave me rakets that made me a better person. She believed in me. We had some sort of falling out because of the way I ran my life but then it was just normal. She went to Cebu and back. I heard she's in ABS now but i really want to see her and just hang out. 3. Merv E. Merv. Hahaha! Merv the nerve! He was my unofficial boyfriend in college. The weirdest of them all. The one who broke my heart. It's all under the rug now. I bet we can be good friends. We never really had this closure thing going on. I remember the feelings i had for him back then and it was just so.... surreal. He gave me yema as a sign of his attraction and photocopied short stories of authors i like for me to read as a sort of panliligaw back then. We had the most untypical relationship. He was this artsy fartsy kind--- silent and brooding, bands and music high, artist poet ek ek. He made me kilig. And i just love kilig stuff done in the most unconventional way. That was then. I just have this habit of rekindling old feelings but separating the person from the feeling. People should try that so there won't be issues of not getting over. You just rent the feeling because it makes you feel alive and you concentrate on what you just felt. An emotional masturbation of sorts.Our episodes together would be smack down were very 'indie film' if i were to describe it. Where could he be now? Last time I saw him was in a Japanese Film Showing while I was 6months pregnant with my hubby. It's soooooo Merv. Nothing has changed. Friday, 27 March 2009 Nagdadalawang Isip ako...Nakakita ako ng isang ad kung saan merong libreng writing workshop. Umilaw ang mata ko. Hehe. Exagerration lang. Bumilog ang mata ko nang makita ko ang ad na iyon. Kelangan daw gumawa ng screenplay.
Screenplay. Nakakkita na ako ng screenplay. Naka-print. Naka-fastener pa. Para siyang full length play na may kasamang koro, muse at mga taumbayan. Para siyang one whole bond paper na libro. Mabigat at nakaka intimidate basahin. Kasi parang nobela ang dating. Yung kaibigan ko magdi-direk ng isang screenplay na ginawa ng kanyang friend. Nakisawsaw ako sa meeting nila at sinubukang basahin yung mala-librong screenplay--- tinamad ako. Siguro hindi agad nakuha ang atensyon ko. Siguro kasi nag-umpisa sa character na bakla. The usual funny remarks, the usual kabaklaan lines. Nagsawa na kasi ako sa mga baklang character sa pelikula. Parang sila na lang palagi ang may pinakamalaking isyu at conflict sa mundo ng pelikula. Nagsabugan din ang mga indie film na puro temang kabaklaan. Nauumay na ako. Para akong pinapakain ng empanada for 2 days. Anyway, hindi naman tungkol ito sa mga bakla. Pero feeling ko para pa rin akong nasa loob ng closet. Ito yung napathalene balls effect. Feeling napthalene balls ako kasi andun lang ako sa loob ng closet. Gusto ko sanang salihan ang workshop na iyon. Pero parang kinakabahan ako na hindi ko alam. Una, kasi kilala ko yung magpapa-workshop at kilala rin niya ako pati ang style of writing ko. Hindi kaya umay na rin siya sa akin? Sa totoo lang, kinakabahan ako't nageenjoy habang nagsusulat kasi sa totoo lang... hindi ko pa alam basically ang kakayahan ko sa pagsusulat creatively. Sa TV writing, nangangarag ako sa idea na kelangan kong bumuo ng isang linggong treatment pero kapag andun na yung mga dialogue para akong pokpok na bumubuka ang hita sa kahit sinong gusto kumangkang. Pangalawa, na-iintimidate ako. Ayun. Di ko ma-explain pero parang binubully na di ko ma-gets. Nag-ugat ata ito sa Poodrahbel ko. Magaling na writer ang tatay ko with matching Palanca Awards pa. Sneior na siya sa Philippine Literature at colleague niya sila Rene Villanueva. Kainuman pa niya si Nick Joaquin bago pa siya mamatay. That level na siya. Takot akong ipakita sa kanya ang mga sinusulat ko noon kasi harsh siya magcomment. As in. Harsh. Ganyan ata talaga pag magaling. Gusto ko sumali para matapos na. Siguro mag-iinquire ako kung paano yung pasahan ng requirements bago ka mapili. Gusto ko may sense of anonymity pa rin ako para kapag nabasa niya kung ano man yung requirement na yun magugulat siya na ako pala ang nagsulat. Haha. Kilala niya kasi ako eh. Sige. Tara. Magsulat na! Wednesday, 18 March 2009 Slowing it down...When it rains it pours. I am happy that most of my rakets have been keeping me in a good financial shape most especially now since I have a family. For the past week i had to write and revise twice a one week script for a soap, write a copy for a TVC raket in between since i also do freelance for this, resist my very cute and adorable baby while she observes me doing something on my laptop and also refrain from surfing the Internet since it slacks my time from fiinishing what i intend to do.
I'm kinda free now but i couldn't sleep as tenderly as possible because the rich neighbor is doing another renovation thing around their house. I also worry about driving the metro with students permit. Yes, I am driving now. A second hand silver automatic car bought out of boka and chismis by my husband from his boss. It's nice driving really but it's so snobbish at times. I missed riding an MRT and it has been ages since i rode on one since I am bascially bounded by QC. I need to relax now really. Tuesday, 10 March 2009 These are a few of my favorite things...I want to do this ala Oprah but since I am not Oprah ala Julie Andrews na lang.
Nabili ko lang sila this month but i am oh so fond of them ![]() ![]() 1. My gray and pink striped flats from Schu which i bought for 700pesos. Mura na yan dahil usually 1,700 ang mga sapataos sa Schu. Mataray ang mga design ng sapatos. May character lahat kahit yung mga high heeled shoes nila. They're the most comfortable flats i've ever stepped on. Pano ko ba nabili to? By accident Iang talaga: Initially, I bought a ' tablecloth sa canteen' inspired flats for 350 pesos feeling ko nakamura ako at gustong gusto ko yung design kasi very quirky pero sobrang dadanak ang dugo dahil sangkatutak na paltos ang inabot ng paa ko. Naglalakad tuloy ako sa mall na parang bagong CS. Sabi ko di ko na keri, bibili na lang ako ng tsinelas at para namang may Sunbeach sa Shang rila? Kaya napadaan ako sa Schu at sale naman kaya go, buti na lang at sweldo nung araw na yun. I'm gonna post some of my very cute and comfy Schu finds. Masarap sa paa ang Schu kahit high heels. Ka-level niya sa taray ng designs at comfyness ang mga sapatos sa Nine West. Pag suot ko 'to feeling ko anak ako ng mga Araneta!! Happy talaga ako dito. ![]() ![]() 2. My magic bibe toothbrush holder! Last year ko pa talaga ito nakikita at gustong gusto ko na siya bilhin. Isang taon ko hinintay na mag-sale ito sa Dimensione pero wiz. 230pesos pa rin siya noon hanggang ngayon. Pero pwede namang pumasa na 100 pesos lang. Mukha siyang pinagbabawal na laruan sa China pero iba ang tingin ko sa kanya. Nakakita rin ako ng ganitong tooth brush holder sa banyo ng dance teacher namin sa Peta. Aliw na aliw ako sa kanya. Parang bumabati ng good morning sunshine pag nakikita ko ito sa banyo namin. Ganado ako mag-tooth brush in fairness talaga. Tignan mo naka kindat pa sayo. ![]() ![]() 3. My "Japan Japan Sagot sa Kahirapan" notebook. Wag maliitin ang notebook na ito dahil may kamahalan ito. Last year ko pa siya nabili. Isa ito sa mga splurge sa buhay ko. Ang nagpapa-excite sa akin every time na makikita ko siya. Umabot ng 600 pesos ang notebook na ito. Sino ba namang feelingera ang bibili ng ganito kamahal na nokbuk eh naghihirap ang ilang Pilipino? Ako po yun. Maganda kasi siya. Nagso-soar ang damdamin ko nang makita ko ito at ang sabi ko sa kanya: " Akin ka lang!" Feeling ko dito ko isusulat ang mga sikreto ko sa kama... Ang lahat ng aking sexcapades... lahat ng kamisteryosohan ko sa buhay ay naka-limbag dito sa sosyal na nokbuk na ito. Hindi ko pa nagagamit yan at parang ayoko pa gamitin. Ang ganda pa ng design. Very Japanese vintage. Very Akira Kurosawa. Paminsan lang naman ako bumili bili ng mga ganito. Marunong na ako magtimpi ngayon. Monday, 09 March 2009 Busy for a day!!I'm really busy and my mind is all tangled up. I'm finishing a one week treatment for a noontime soap opera in my home channel. I've finished 2 days already but i have 3 more to go with a 9am deadline tomorrow morning and oh look at the time.... 6pm! I have to think of so many dramatic situations for our protagonist and so many other creative situations for the rest of the characters. I feel so oily right now and it feels so hagard being oily but this is an affirmation.
It's weird because i'm still writing to unwind. I hope i make it to the deadline. I'm looking forward to that feeling of finished work because it's cathartic. I'm gonna have my warts electrocuted after this. For now: Write! Write! Write! Wednesday, 04 March 2009 Ang Taong Galit sa Thank YouAng taong galit sa Thank you ay di maganda.
Kasi ang salitang thank you ay positive vibe na binibigay mo sa mundo kaya pag bumalik sayo tanggal lahat ng pimples mo. Ang taong galit sa Thank you ay feeling prinsesa. Kasi lahat ng tao ay dapat mag-adjust sa oras at buhay niya. Akala nya lahat ng ginagawa mo ay para sa kanya. Ang Taong galit sa Thank you ay kunwaring nagpapayat pero nakaka-tatlong diet coke sa isang upuan. Ang tawag diyan malaking kalokohan. Ang Taong galit sa Thank you ay kelangan ipangalandakang mayaman siya. Sa paanong paraan? Ihambala ang mga sapatos, bag at relong sa laway pinaghirapan. Tse! Wala naman akong pakialam. Ang Taong galit sa Thank you ay gahaman. Dahil thank you na lang, ayaw pang bitawan. ** Kanina lang, merong humingi ng favor sa akin. Favor yun kasi it's supposed to be a special request dahil di ko naman trabaho at kelangan gawin ang ipapagawa niya. Go naman ako kasi madali lang naman. Nung hindi ko nagawa yung favor because of some complications medyo hindi ko nagustuhan ang tabas ng salita. Bakit daw ngayon ko lang sinabi na hindi ko nagawa... "Ay sorry, may buhay ako at di mo ako binayaran para gawin yun." bigkas ng aking inner self siyempre. Ipapagawa na lang daw niya sa iba. Toot toot. End of conversation. Hello? Hello? Ay yun na yun? Ateng, palimos naman ng Thank you. Sinubukan ko naman, hindi nga lang epektib at di ko na saklaw yun. Dahil diyan, salamat, user-friendly ka pala. Out with the Old, In with the NewI am back my dear blog. I've been very unfaithful for these past few years because of oh so many things cyberspace has cooked up on minions of people who just want to have a piece of an audience.
What has happened to me? Oh well, i got married last year. I changed jobs and hopefully growing. I was backstabbed and somehow couldn't get over the fact that some people i have always respected would do it to me. I have lived with somebody i never really liked. I became bitter but got over it. I can save a bit of money. I still love chocolate. I have a wonderful and adorable baby girl. Basically, i am still the same with stretchmarks. |
This has been my sanctuary for four years already. It's my extension. Almost like a limb out in the open. Know that people want to express, to just chuck it out, to just be themselves even on something as artificial as blog. I am that people. So don't mind me... |