ENCORE!

Yesterday was the first time I went to our live production of our 10pm airing. I was always a sheltered, air-conditioned employee of the show. Just checking the channel to see if we're on air. We finished early so I decided to watch the live airing at Studio 1. Para naman maiba.

Never again.

Grabe talaga ang mga tao. Pasaway. That was the first time I saw hardcore fans of a bunch of showbiz hopefuls. At hindi pa yan mga Noranians o Vilmanians ha.

I look at the faces of the fans just to check how dead serious are these people for whacking their lungs out to teenagers they don't really know. And they are serious.

I look at the teenagers on stage waiting for their hatol while fans scream out their names like they would save humanity. I observed one of them closing his eyes as if to savor that exact moment of ultimate adulation. Damn, that feels fucking good.

I am part of a showbiz mill. I am part of regenerating a new breed of idols and artistas the masses would clamor. I am part of building them a pedestal. I am part of the brouhaha. I am part of the muck the Filipino masses are sinking in. I am part of making this world a not so better place to live in.

But! But! But!

I am part of their sweet escape. I am part of their need to have a someone to adore. I am part of their every dream to hobnob with an artista. I am part of something that builds on dreams of deluded showbiz wannabees.

Hmmm, this is too serious stuff for me to really think about. My eyebags are having their own generation as i write. Am I proud of the part and parcel I make? Well, that's a hard question.

At least I plant trees and put trash in the trash bin and I don't spit in public.

I think that's my consolation.