WENSHAPANATYM IN TIMOG

My dear reader,

I have never been to a spa. That's how third world my life is. The first time i rode a plane was last week and I didn't like it. The first time I rode a ship I thought I was in a movie. But i will now debunk the statement i wrote earlier. And it is through these kind of experiences I aptly named the blog gengkie the newbie.

My usual 'spa' is the one with my blind masseur in Philcoa. The husband of Ate Judith (i completely forgot my masseur's name!), who is situated just right outside Chowking, has an affair with my muscles. You go there, say hi to Ate Judith and she gives you a beige monoblock. You sit down and then the affair begins. It's a complete meltdown of shrapnels caused by work and the society we live in. From then on, i become a Philcoa urchin easily identified with the vendors of siniguelas, gulaman, bagoong and pirated DingDong Avanzado CDs. Although the last string of massages is done on the head and can make you look zapped by a 110 volt--- I was happy.

Last night, 11:30pm, Frenchy invited me to a real spa. Ok. What can a three letter word do anyway. That was an understatement.

I went inside and i thought i had to go to a room and meet the masseur right away. The ladies informed me I have to take a shower, I obliged. I was in my towel and to my little shop of horrors--- it was a public bathroom. I am not maarte ok, but i figured i cannot just display my body like a carinderiang bukas sa lahat ng pwedeng kumain. Well, at least we are all girls and they are either japanese or korean so i felt like a tortang talong in a tray of sashimi and tempura.

I tried the jacuzzi naked. I found out later on that i had to put on my towel and not go skinny dipping in that artificial spring. Well sorry, this assumptionista is ignorant about that jacuzzi rule. After watching a couple of GMA shows and me feeling like it was a resort since I tried to backstroke in that little jacuzzi naked, the lady led me to a smoky room. Ohmigod, I went inside and i felt like someone slapped me with a white cotton candy. I went out in 3 seconds but the lady prodded that it was just steam.  And then i felt so stupid being aghast by a matter such as a steam.

Eto na pala yung steam bath chuva.

I went inside again and saw a pair of really ugly boobs. Ito talaga panget, di sa pagmamayabang na fantastic ang boobs ko ha. That sight encouraged me to display mine hahaha! Flaunt it while you still have it ika nga.

I went out after 10mins. I checked myself in the mirror and what did i see? My body was all dewy and plump like the boldstar effects of those seen in FHM. My hair trickling down, wet and abandoned. My cheeks dewy with bits and pieces of H2O arranged in such a way to look like as if you're in a pictorial. My towel around my body, half naked and brown. My shoulder blades glistening with sweet chastity--- I was Tetchie Agbayani. Well, I had to savor that moment because on trips i still imbibe Gemma Cruz-Araneta.

The actual massage was presented after all that stuff.  And it was really good. Period.