ONE FOURTH

I am nearing the one fourth of my existence on this planet and that is if i live to be a hundred. Oh dear. And what have i done? What did i do for the past 25 years. I think its only now at this point in my life that i have come to realize how good i was brought up by my parents; my poodrahbel and moodrahbel. And i have been thinking if i become a parent, would it be the same for my kids?

At this point of my girly existence that i have dragged along a male in my parents house to be given space for scrutiny by my moodrahbel. And she debunked my expectations. What surprise life can really bring at you.

I have come to think of things i did in the past that had a great effect on me. I moved out. I became older than the usual age when things turned awry. I didn't turn back. I think it has provided me with enough bitterness so i can  appreciate the sweeter things in life.

My friend bumper has always said that at least i know what i want and some people my age are still out there going where lies the people of this country. I guess i know what i want in a filipinized setting of bahala na attitude. I have comfort in knowing what i really want. I want it so much it hurts so i guess there is comfort in not knowing.

And at this point in my life, i have become vulnerable to scratching and holding on to someone when i watch really scary movies. Leila was the first one who had marks on her arms and though she hates it, i know deep in my heart that it says something about our friendship. R is a bit fluffy so i guess i hold on to his wobbly bits for comfort.

So thank God for this one fourth.