PANAGINIP

Ang weird kasi napaginipan ko na naman siya. Hindi ko alam kung bakit napapaginipan ko pa rin siya and the old feeling is still the same in my dreams. And its always a good thing to relive that feeling again believe me... just the feeling dear as if i'm renting it again if emotions could be rented. Yes, it's him. My so called first love nung highschool. The one who got away and since ayoko ng mga regrets i thought i shouldn't have let him get away even if it took me 8 years to reiterate that feeling. Note the word REITERATE, it means it has been done before and i just did it again after 8 years.  But then we have choices and he wanted to get away so medyo ampalaya bitter herbs ako for quite sometime. It's finished the bitter herb has turned into a little cream puff. Landi.

He knows this and he was overwhelmed, he didn't expect it to come from me. I had to explain to him but he just couldn't get it and then i knew napaka enormous pala ng capacity ko to love that the object of affection just doesn't get it. I am happy that i am able to tell him about that and it's just a Niagara fall of emotions i can detach myself from the feeling and the object of that feeling which is him.  After that i just realized what a piece of wuss that guy is but then when i reminisce that feeling napaka-sarap. I must admit it's something i have never felt before even with my husband.

I dearly love my husband. His love is like Ice Cream in a Sarah Mclachlan piece. I am glad to propagate species with him chos! Of course, I adore him and he has made me smile and sigh with a relief that I am leading a good life with a man i truly respect and love to bits even as i wash dishes. Washing dishes, i can say, is my hour of truth. And in my hour of truth, i have pondered that maybe he could have been my greatest pitfall and probably a soulmate. I can't have him and the feeling associated with him is just too vintage i can wear it any season like an old brooch. Doesn't this sound so like a Garcia-Marquez novel? Wag naman sana.

 Life is just beautiful imperfect and it's so dramatic if it remained that way.